I know right? These guys did another album and no one is talking about it and no one cares. That’t not right. I loved their debut. Sure it was a mixed bag but I like that and enjoyed the majority of it. So why is no one talking about the follow up? Let’s do a track by track as I listen:
We Are The Dead
Okay, starts off pretty calm – almost mundane. Ah, then in come the marching beats and a simple synth line. Weird though, it’s not very intriguing. Seems kinda flat. Okay does it for far too long. Boring now. Beat. Fuller version of the same riff. Feels so considered and restrained. Doesn’t sound manic enough at all. Oh and now it loops goes back to the opening acoustic section. God this is dull and predictable. Someone microwaved their balls.
Again starts off quiet then into a “chaotic” chorus that just sounds as anarchic as using the wrong fork at a dinner party. Keane’s Is It Any Wonder was more of a surprise than this. Really crap vocals too. Fucking hell guys – What’s happened?
Pull Out My Insides
I’m thinking the same thing now. Jangly summery guitar. This sounds like a terrible Get Up Kids Song. Eye-wateringly bad lyrics. It needs a vocalist to sing on this – instead of the piss poor effort Mr Strainy manages here.
The most interesting track so far. No vocals. Thumbs up. Oh man, but forget what I said. It’s just so mild mannered and SHIT. FUCKING AWFUL FAUX ELECTRO ROCK PLAYED BY HAIRCUT FAGETS. IT’S ALL SO FUCKING TERRIBLE. The synth patches are DULL. The drumming sounds like it was faxed in from Status Quo. The guitars are biege bland. Songs take ages to build and then change direction into something that doesn’t work. Tempos are not quick enough. Really feels like listening to a DJ who’s slowing each track down for lolz. No momentum from the dynamics. REALLY REALLY REALLY FUCKING BAD.
The Monkeys Are Coming
Sound is weak. Cymbals are too quiet. This was a single? Hahaha. Awful, as above.
Wrong Time Wrong Planet
The bass tone has been the same on every song. Song itself sounds like Gorillaz – just worse. I wouldn’t say there had been a song yet. It’s just been a mess of jumble that they noodled out while someone sat back and went “whoa there. That bit was a bit too loud. Better turn that down, eh, chaps? Oh and all these silly noises, let’s quantize them. Much better.” While simultaneously handing them chocolate biscuits and telling them it’ll be the best record of all time. You $ell-out fucks.
Sample is pretty good. Ah, now this track is much more like it. Bouncy and lots of wild sounds. This could have been off their debut album. Reminds me of the Lesbian Octopus one. Oh, bit of a shame it uses the sample again later on. The structure is EXACTLY the same as We Are The Dead. But when this one breaks the second time it’s actually good.
Oh dear. If you’d like to hear some embarrassing rap. I recommend this. Let’s just close our eyes and ears and pretend it’s not happening. Ladedahdedah… OMG it got worse. The chorus is sang by the most lacklustre woman I’ve ever heard. Imagine if you sucked the colour out of a rich tea biscuit. That’s how nothing her voice is.
Same bass tone. Lazy. Vocalist really trying to make it sound like he cares. Like a bad support act who thinks what they’re singing means everything and you just stare at your massively overpriced plastic glass of beer instead, search for hot young strumpets and wait for the main act.
That’s it? Already. Oh end on a ballad? Oh good. You can only end on a ballad when you include some rock songs on your album. Unless you’re James Blunt and hey, even he was more varied than what you twunts have managed here. Is this going to build into something massive? Well it tries to but it’s just too slow. It’s not even as good as a Snow Patrol song.
Conclusion. 40 minutes wasted. The worst song off their debut is better than anything here. Every song is 4 minutes long – Now that’s when you know you’re being taken advantage of. No thought into any of these songs. Sounds like they were knocked together as an aside from getting drunk and playing badly live. Go back and listen to Battle Royale from their first album – there’s real depth to it. There’s great synth work and it builds in a way that feels wild but natural at the same time.
SO WHAT WENT WRONG?
Well, in my opinion, Does It Offend You, Yeah? have blended their styles so the quiet bits are the verse and the “wild” electrobashy bits are the chorus. A truly terrible idea which reduces their shock and awe dynamic to a much more expected and diluted experience.
The new album is just some half-formed ideas, produced terribly, and more shocking than all – dull. I’ve said that word loads already but I’ll say it again! DULL! How did they manage that?! And that’s why the album bombed. I mean, not that commercial success should ever be used to benchmark how good something is, but I do feel that when you’re already quite commercially and independently successful and your next album bombs it’s because it fucking sucks.
Basically – fuck you Does It Offend You, Yeah?